My name is Phillip and sometimes, like some of you, I am a poet.
Note: this is a performance piece, but I hope you enjoy it in written form.
I play to win. Second place is first loser, BUT who’s really losing when my strongest efforts are focused on winning prizes, muscle sizes, and exercises in increasing the bottom lines.
I wanna be like Jesus, speak like Jesus… except for that meekness.
Because I gotta conquer & destroy my enemies but Jesus don’t play that tune, so soon, perhaps I gotta ask some questions and get to investigating my dominating tendencies and how they just DON’T sync up with the living, forgiving, mercy-demonstrating Lord I claim to follow.
I feel hollow sometimes when I cling to things and fight to fight rather than fighting FOR someone or some cause greater than myself. Trophies on a shelf mean nothing but crowns bestowed by the Father to cast at the feet of the Son. THAT’s what I want to have won when my life is DONE.
So my priorities are sometimes difficulties when they clash with character of the One who already WON all the right battles and conquered the right foes. I suppose it’s my turn to submit all I get and all I am to the one who’s name is ‘I am.’ I wanna compete against my sinfulness instead of my neighbor. I wanna begin again to win things that matter and last instead of those that collect dust and amplify my pride rather than the glory of Christ who died.
But I prefer the shiny badges and pushing the edges of ‘all I can be’ to the idea of becoming ‘less’ so people might profess faith in the Lord I said I adore but who receives more excuses from me than praise. I raise my voice in shouts for a game but hardly utter a whisper for the name of Jesus. I dance when overpaid highly focused -on-themselves-and-their-fame competitors score a point or win the game. But do I so much as lift my hand or kneel or stand in response to the Lord who focused on ourselves and all we needed to be redeemed.
How many hours and dollars have I spent on winning at pastimes?
And how many were given with joy to Jesus and his people to win at things that last forever and never die!? I… must give my all, but not for movement of a ball. All I am and have should be spent to move the hearts of people closer to the Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God and ultimate victor.
I can play at playing. But my focus and heart will be staying on praying & praising, witnessing and confessing the greatness of God.